A Day In The Snow with Vi

Yesterday, my friend Jane and I visited Vi again.

She was very happy to see me, and came in the room all bundled in her coat, hat and scarf. The nanny pointed outside and said to go. I was surprised since there were a few inches of snow and they never asked if my husband and I wanted to take her out when the weather was nicer, but I was also excited to get to go play outside with her!!

Here is the front door of the orphanage, I'm there in the window.

Look at this beautiful playground! It looked magical in the snow.

Here is Vi and Mama, on our way out to play!! (They had small rags to one side, that we were told we had to walk on instead of the steps because the steps were so slick.)

Vi wanted to go see the slides, so we tried brushing some of the snow off them. I picked her up to slide down once, but she got quite a bit of snow in her shoes and chose not to slide anymore. We just to stuck to  cleaning after that.

There was a whole crowd of her friends outside, and we thought it might be nice to try and grab a group photo for her to remember them by.

However, Vi seemed fine while I was standing up, but when I crouched to speak to the other children.....well, look at her face and judge for yourself how she felt about THAT.

I started to whisper to her that I loved her, and gave her some kisses. She cheered up...a tiny bit.

But she made it very clear that I was HER MAMA, and kept telling everyone so they wouldn't forget.  After this, when I stood up and one girl grabbed my hand Vi made a sort of shrieking noise and shouted "MAMA!" so I let go quickly and told her "Vi's Mama" and she smiled at me.

We went walking about the playground, and Jane's camera battery died so we don't have any more photos. But we marched around in circles, singing songs, and being shown all around the whole outside of the building.  There were guard dogs in the 4 corners of the fence, and if they barked Vi would become visibly upset and beg me to pick her up. She would wimper a bit and say "Dasvedanya,  Sabaka!" (Goodbye, dog!)

We walked around a bit more, trying to steer her away from the other groups of children but naturally she wanted to go where they were going and continue to point out that she had a Mama. It was a hard thing, because she was so happy and so proud, and she has waited almost 6 years for this moment.  But it obviously hurt her friends to see us, and they asked Jane "Mama? Mama?" every time we came close.

At one point we started swinging her by her arms, "One...two...THREEEEE!" and then her legs would fly up in the air and she would giggle like a maniac. She would shout "Again! Again! Again!" and of course we would oblige.  She worked her way close to her friends over and over and shouted for them to watch while we would swing her up in the air. "Again! Again! Again!" 

One of the little boys in the group began to cry from seeing us.

We quickly led her away again, our hearts breaking for all the sweet little souls who so badly want their Mama and Papa to come for them.

So she wanted to take us over by the fence. She pointed to the cars, and asked me to take her in the car and go.

Our hearts broke again.  I couldn't explain that yes, I am her Mama. Yes, we WILL go home....but no, we can't go now.  All I could say was "Nyet" (No) and her little lip stuck out at me, not understanding. Clearly, they told her I would come back. But she must have also been told I would come back and then we would go home together. How do you explain "10 day waiting period after court" to a 5 year old who doesn't speak your language?

We went back inside and told her it was time for us to go. She kept saying "Nyet, nyet" and her lip would stick out again. I've never seen her really sad, but this afternoon she was. She was looking at the floor, crossing her arms, and saying with her body and her words......."No, no, don't leave me again!".  While I'm grateful that I will never, truly, have to leave her again because I know I am her Mama forever.....she doesn't have that luxury. She is worried, and afraid I will disappear. She wants to leave with me. 

I can't wait for the day we get to walk out those orphanage doors. The people here have taken such good care of our girl, but she is ready to move on to having a family and we are so ready to have her.

***Disclaimer: I do not know the status of the children in the photos, if they are available or not for adoption.  All the children that Reece's Rainbow know ARE available are listed on their website HERE. The young girl in the red jacket with the bright blue scarf, blue gloves and white hat is "Erin" on Reece's Rainbow and she is available for adoption with her sister "Bethany"! Please contact Andrea at andrea@reecesrainbow.org if you have any questions about these beautiful girls!!***