Expect the Unexpected

If I have learned anything in my 29 years of life (and if my family and friends have learned anything about me in the process) I would have to say it is to expect the unexpected.

It's not that I don't make plans, it's just that I find very often my plan is not as good as the one that eventually presents itself.

With that said, we've got some rather big news to share. It's exciting and wonderful. It's nerve-wracking and wonderful. It's not what we had planned. And its wonderful.

So, basically it's pretty wonderful.



Anyone want to wager a guess?? :)




Well, there's no other way to say it, except to come out and say it.



So I guess I'd better get on with it.




Our family is getting ready to grow.




Again.





And.




I'm not even pregnant!



My husband and I have made the decision to adopt a little boy half way across the world. A little boy named Tanner. A little boy with no family and a medical condition that will most likely prove fatal if he is left in an orphanage.

A little boy who has completely captured our hearts.

I can't even tell you really how I came to find Tanner. I read a blog post on one of my favorite blogs about a family who was adopting a little girl with down syndrome, I followed some links. I ended up at Reece's Rainbow. I had been on the site before a few times, and while many of the stories were heartbreaking I never felt connected to them. I never felt like I could DO something. And in truth, I never felt the desire to do something. It just seemed too impossible, and besides adoption was not in the cards for us.

And then I saw Tanner.

I can't even describe it. I felt like my heart stopped beating. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. I had the strongest impression that he was just meant to be ours. Which was completely bizarre since we weren't looking to adopt, hadn't discussed adoption, and besides that we kind of have four kids already. After a long period of time staring at his picture and then reading a bit more about the adoption process through this organization I thought of my Sister in Law, who has been struggling with infertility and is just beginning to explore adoption. So I thought to myself I must feel so strongly about him because I was meant to show his story to her. Hoping I didn't come across as an insentitive jerk, I sent her an email (I probably still came off as an insensitive jerk, I'm sorry Cat! I love you!)

We had a long phone conversation the next day, and she did not feel the connection to him that I had felt. They are leaning towards a much younger child, and since it will be their first they do not feel ready to bring a child in to their family with health concerns. All of this I completely understood, but I felt like my heart was just breaking because I knew he was supposed to be a part of our family.

Being completely illogical, I emailed Reece's Rainbow myself. I asked them questions about our family size, explained that we are military, etc. I kept thinking there was probably something that would disqualify us from the get-go to pursuing this beautiful little boy anyways and then I would just have to let it go. But every answer I received was positive. We were completely eligible. They sent me more photos of him, and some short video clips. I was falling more and more in love wit this child every minute. They were very encouraging. There was no obvious reason not to proceed.

Oh. Except for the small matter of asking my husband what he thought about the whole thing. And, you know, if he even wanted another kid. Kind of an important detail.

Well, certainly that would be the end of it I imagined. I am emotional and tend to get my heart waaaaaay out in front of my head. My husband is level, even-tempered, logical and wise. And I was 99.9% sure he would tell me I was crazy.

I sent him Tanner's information. I asked him to watch the videos. I asked him to please at least think about it before saying No, which I completely expected.

Unbelievably, wonderfully, and amazingly he seemed to feel the same immediate connection. With tears in his eyes he said to me "You know, I've seen a lot of kids in the world who are so poor and their lives are so hopeless. And we can't save them all. But I would really love it if we could save just one."

And that, as they say, was that.

Bringing Tanner home will be a huge challenge, but it is one that we are ready to face with open hearts and open minds. While we haven't discussed Tanner specifically with the kids (we don't want them completely heartbroken if something happens beyond our control) we have told them we are looking to adopt a little boy and wanted to know how they felt. If it is any indication that they are more than open to expanding our family Pudah's immediate response was "LET'S GET TWO!" Bug thinks it is a great idea so long as she remains the "big sister" to any future siblings. The boys have pretty much been asking for "just one more baby!" since Baby Man was born, which made me feel fairly confident this idea would be met with open arms. Still we were very happy to see that the kids felt the same way we did: There is definitely room for one more in our hearts, in our home, and in our family.

As a nurse, I feel uniquely qualified to help him address his medical issues. As an Army family, with great medical benefits that include multitude of support programs we feel prepared to help address any developmental and physical delays he may have as a result of being raised in an institutional setting. We are realistic about the challenges ahead, but full of hope for a very bright future for this precious child.

I hope each and every one of you will take to time to visit Tanner's page over at Reece's Rainbow. If you feel moved by his story we would be beyond grateful for and very humbled by any and all donations towards his adoption. Every little bit will help to cover travel expenses, fees and all sorts of costs that are inherent to completing an international adoption. Any and all money received by donating at this page will go towards HIS adoption and will help us bring him home as soon as possible. You can click here, or click the new button you may have noticed at the top of my page. :)

We have filed all the initial paperwork. We've committed to his adoption. We've mailed in passport renewals. We start the homestudy process on Thursday with our first of four social worker visits. This isn't "we are thinking about this". We are going to make this happen, and with any luck we will be a family of 7 by Christmas.

It may not be what we were expecting this year to bring us. It may not be what we were planning for our family. But when you see his big blue eyes, his sweet dimples, and his beautiful smile I think you will realize as we have that Tanner becoming part of our family will be one of the greatest blessings we could ever receive.